Love Letter

There is never a day I go without thinking of you… The tender things you say are like little jewels that encrust my heart… shielding it from the damage that may come my way. Sometimes I’m confused, and don’t understand the lessons you are trying to teach me- sometimes I don’t even understand the lessons I teach you. Yet somehow… it always works. I’ve held on by a driving force, that force is love. I could say it a million times, and it wouldn’t be enough to truly describe the wealth of feeling that surges forth- every time I hear your voice. The way you joke about silly things, and how your voice changes when you’re feeling particularly good… I would give so much to hear that sound, every day. Yet- some days are bad, and I can hear the soft sound of quiet dismay, and the roaring sound of violent anger… yet, I can’t turn away. I can’t turn away from your pain as surely as I can’t turn away from my own. Instead, I shine my light out into those dark seas, and pray for you to find me again. To find the warm light I hold kindled for you… every day. When you are sick, I want to comfort you, to heal you, to make you stronger. When you are tired, I want to be the place you go, to calm yourself and sleep. When you look at the world and only see misery, I want to show you the joys. It is MY joy, to bring out the sun in your heart. So protected, so shielded; I chip out the layers of brick and mortar, to find the source that is you. I don’t know how long we have. Life is a road full of twists and turns, and maybe at some point this path will end, and you’ll be called to leave this world, and this harbor, to be a part of all that is good once again. You, my warrior, will be gone from my touch… but the love you’ve given me, the time and care, will stay in my heart, always. I love you… I say it again—I love you; and the ins and outs that go with it. Sometimes we may not agree, sometimes we are disharmonized, but I believe we always find a way, to get back on the road together… I can’t wait for the day when you will hold me, and I can pull you to my chest, where you’ve lived inside these last two years. I cannot wait to feel your breath, to marvel at the rhythmic beating of your heart; where I have lived, inside of you. You, and me, separate but one… I hope you read this, and whenever you do, I hope you feel the love wash over you. It cannot erase the past, but maybe, just maybe, it can be a soothing ointment for old wounds, and maybe it can ease your pain and maybe, inspire you to heal. This is my hope, my faith. Feel me pull you close, and rock with you… Apart, we are strong, together we are ever stronger; your strength of spirit… and my strength of heart. I love you... I say it again-I love you… ------- I have learned so much in the last two years! Really... I am very thankful for the lessons that true love has brought me. For years I was struck with a terrible phobia about driving. I wasn't sure if I would ever get over it. Thanks to meeting my mate not only have I been driving, but I am at the point where I don't shake or cry when I do so. I have found freedom, I've embraced my sexuality, I've become more comfortable in my own skin. But this wasn't all just her, it was me too. So perhaps a few of you ladies are wondering why I would post such an intimate letter to the world. Well, I am wondering that too! My driving motivation is to let my sisters see and know what it's like to really find something lasting. Meet people that impact your life, I mean really do that. Make it your goal. Get out there and find like minds. Now The first thing I have to say about love is, you never expect it coming. You have a feeling that this may be the one, but you never quite know. You go from maybe to.. oh my god it is! And then that is when the fear comes in. Good grief the fear! It's like, you're standing over the edge of something big and serious and you have to decide if it's worth going through the promised set of pain, strife, and hard work that comes from having a relationship. Let me tell you though, it is highly worth it. I have learned myself better through loving another human being. For instance, I've learned I have a mean streak. I've learned I have a big, forgiving heart, and I've learned that I am a strong individual with a voice. I have also learned that, in spite of my tremendous efforts not to, I can come across as a bit of a now it all, and also, I can seem as though I am looking down at others. This is a side of myself I don't really like very much, so I am working on it. That is what separates the doers from the procrastinators, you have to decide what is important about YOU that you need to work on. No one is born perfect or knowing everything, but, there is always room for improvement. I move to be a life long learner, so that I may improve every day, if only marginally. My goal is to make an impact on this world. And by gosh, I think I'm on my way.