All my life, my decisions were made based off what others thought of me. By others I mean my very own family. It’s been made based off what I thought was expected of me, and also how I wanted people to perceive me to be. Now, I understand one thing for sure and that is that life is a constant work in progress. In this way, just like everybody else I try. It is just discovering what I am trying for that has been tricky.
Fact one: No matter how hard I try, people will only see what they desire to see. They will only see what they perceive.
Therefore, no matter what I do, I cannot control it. I can’t control what others see and take from what I put out in the world. I can only control the feeling behind it. I can only do my best to communicate my thoughts and feelings as best as possible, and hope that some will find the message in them so that it can effect in a positive way.
Fact two: I have no way of knowing what they are wanting from me. I can only guess. Truth is anyone can only guess.
Thus, instead of trying to give people what they want. I have decided to just DO what feels right. If it isn’t wanted, then it isn’t; but it is out there.
Fact three: Up until I decided to consciously make a change, everything I did was not working.
It is hard for me not to give a damn. That’s it, I said it. I am one of those people that agonize on whether I said the right thing, or communicated something the right way. So by just doing, I am constantly changing. It is better than killing myself with worry!
Fact four: The idea of there being a right way to anything sets you up for failure.
Hear me out. If we are constantly trying to do things right and as a result constantly failing, then it is not that we haven’t been doing it right, it is that we haven’t found a way that works. Just like there are many ways to love a person, there are many ways to approach a situation. Just like you can fail when trying to communicate your love, there are many ways to fail when trying to improve a situation. The answer then is to find another way. Find as many ways as possible and just keep trying. The moment you give up is the moment when you lose.
Happily, even when we do give up, we can always make the decision to get back up and try again. I don’t think there is such a thing as too late either. It is when we limit ourselves by time and circumstance that we stop making progress, and it’s when we try to measure our progress up to preset standards that we stop seeing the big picture.
That big picture is splayed out before your eyes, every day.
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