Healing through words

I have a natural gift for healing, I've been told. Yet over time I have not truly embraced it. Why? Because scientifically, there is no basis for it. It is all belief, it is all spirit.
Last year, I picked up a book about medicine men/women, written by a Native American healer from the plains. He was Lakota of origin. He spoke of the trials and tribulations that lead a medicine person into the path of healing.
I read about his near death experiences, his bouts of sickness, his overcoming, and his visions. I began to understand that the path of a healer is a rocky, painful one and I didn't want it.
In the book, this medicine man also mentioned his desire to NOT become a healer. It's too hard. Too demanding, and too much relies on him... All of this I understand perfectly. All of this resonated so much that I put the book down and haven't opened it since.
I don't want the obligation, I don't want the responsibility of aiding the healing of others. It's too much, there is so much pain in this world, and what about my own pain? Whose going to help me with that?
Well now, in my path to education I've recently seriously considered going off to graduate school. Aiming higher.
Enter the reading.
I've attempted to contact psychics before with mixed results. However, I thought, what about trying once more? I submitted for a one question reading asking if I should even attempt to go to graduate school. I never thought I could, it is so expensive and I honestly didn't think I was smart enough.
A few days later, I received my voice recorded reading...
This lovely, soothing Australian voice told me that yes, I should apply to graduate school, at least three...and I would get accepted. This would be good for my long term career. And...did I know that I was such a gifted, natural healer?
"You have such a pure and gentle energy" she said..."You will help many women...for I see you work with women best. They will come to you for healing...You will find your own way to heal."
Indeed...
Just like that I am reminded of my drive to heal. My need to aid others. My horrid (and annoying) habit of taking responsibility and 'feeling' for others.
But what about my OWN pain?
No one acknowledges my own pain. Everyone has said I should just get over it...I need to 'man up'and move on.
Yeah...if it were that easy...if only.
1. I can be a selfish person.
2. I can be a self -less person.
3. I NEED
So...it's just occurred to me a method I wish to try to heal myself.
Healing through words...I've worked out problems by writing poetry...conundrums, feelings...
but what about studying the meaning of words and filling them with healing?
I'm going to give it a try.
Stay tuned.......